At Queer Conception, we believe that every woman, regardless of one’s sexual orientation or gender, should have the right to love a child of their own. However, while our research facility is still fighting for an answer for two women to biologically conceive a child together, at this time, conception cannot solely be achieved by a lesbian couple. Due to such, you and your partner will work closely with a fertility specialist to have a biological child of your own. However, there are still a few pressing concerns to take into consideration before beginning your journey into parenthood.

The following basic information is here to help guide you in the beginning stages of starting your family:

One of the first decisions to be made when a lesbian couple decides to start a family is, “whose eggs should we use?” While this can be a tough decision, we are here to help make suggestions and make the best decision for you and your partner.

Many couples choose to use the eggs of the partner who will carry the baby.   

Other lesbian couples choose to do what is known as reciprocal IVF or Partner IVF:  an option that allows both partners to be physically involved in their child’s conception, by having one partner supplie the eggs that will be fertilized with donor sperm, while the other partner is the gestational carrier for the pregnancy.

In order to start a Reciprocal IVF cycle, both partners menstrual cycles will first need to be aligned.  The partner donating their eggs will go through a process known as ovarian induction in order to produce multiple eggs. The eggs are then extracted in a process known as an Egg Retrieval. Your egg retrieval will be done under a light general anesthesia so both partners (or someone else) will need to be present at the egg retrieval to drive home. 

The Eggs extracted during the egg retrieval are then fertilized using donor sperm

When the embryos have developed to the appropriate stage, the embryos will be transferred during a fresh or frozen embryo transfer. If doing a frozen embryo transfer, it is not important to align your menstrual cycles prior to treatment.

Assuming all goes well, the embryo will implant in the partner’s uterus and grow into a healthy baby.

If neither partner has fertility issues, the choice of who will provide the eggs and who will be the gestational carrier is a completely personal one. It is possible, however, that having a specific partner be the egg “donor,” and the other partner being the gestational carrier could provide some benefit. 

Often times, partners will switch the roles for a second cycle that way both partners get to have the experience of being pregnant and childbirth.

It is even possible for both partners to cycle together and become pregnant at the same time using the same donor sperm so that both children are half-siblings. 

The decision to conceive with sperm from an anonymous donor vs a known donor from a family member or friend is a completely personal decision and left fully up to the couple. 

While our website is a fantastic resource to learn about the basics of fertility, and the treatment plans offered at Queer Conception, remember that we are here to help along any step of the way. Therefore, please feel free to continue browsing our site, but if you come across any questions or are ready to get started with a free one-hour consultation, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

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